Life’s Slow Transitions

We are, AND we are becoming.

While most of us are not writing our stories with pen and paper, we are all writing our stories as we live our daily lives. Each season of life is a chapter that tells who we are and who we are becoming.

Some chapters feature noticeable life changes or personal growth, while other plotlines transition more gradually. We can feel the winds change and know something new is coming, yet hold the suspense as we wait to see how the story unfolds.

These chapters can feel like a slow transition, a gradual movement from one season to the next. Perhaps that’s what keeps our stories interesting, the way the winds shift and the waves move in and then out?

Both unexpectedly fast transitions and gradual, slow transitions bring their own set of challenges.

Today, let’s talk about those seasons when we are slowly transitioning into something new.

As a planner, I tend to want to prewrite the story, or at the very least have an outline of what is coming next. And while planning ahead can be a good thing, there are times I am so focused on the next chapter that I forget I am still writing the story I am living right now.

Some of us are better at living fully present in the story we are living now, yet sometimes forget to prepare for what is coming next. I admire and often try to emulate those who excel at this, and yet I also do not wish to neglect who I am as a planner. Instead, I am attempting to learn to hold both/and together. Asking both, “ Who am I? and Who am I becoming?” And also, “Where am I? And where am I going?”

Our family is currently living a season of slow transition.

Where are we? With a rising high school junior and a college sophomore, we are parenting emerging adults.

Where are we going? Towards a chapter titled The Empty-Nest Season.

Our parenting has been gradually shifting from management to a supporting role. Our daily rhythms are moving from child-focused to couple-focused. And we find ourselves pondering regularly these questions:

What do we want our next season of life to look like?
Who do we want to be individually and as a couple?
How do we live fully present, enjoying this time with our kids still around, while also preparing for a time when our kids become visitors in our home?

Pause to Consider:

What life season are you currently living?

What’s the next chapter you’re preparing to write?

Perhaps you are still living the daily life of parenting tiny humans, praying everyone sleeps through the night. And while it may feel as if you can’t think beyond surviving today, maybe your question of where you are and where you are going is more child-focused.

“We are parenting preschoolers and toddlers. What skills are we helping them learn as they prepare for elementary school adventures? What skills do I need to learn to transition into that season with them?”

Maybe you have been living in the empty-nester season for a while and are preparing to welcome the next generation into your heart and home. Or you are looking ahead to retirement.

Now, it can be easy to turn these questions into a task list, things to do. Believe me, I often fall into that mode. And yet, these questions are less about doing and more about being.

As we ponder the seasons, let’s not forget to ask, “Who am I? And who am I becoming?”

We are who we are now, and yet we are always evolving, becoming. We can allow life to happen and just buckle up for the ride. Or, we can acknowledge life and its slow transitions, regularly asking ourselves, Who am I in this season? Who am I becoming as I grow into the next season?

While I wish we could sit with coffee or tea and ponder all these things together, that isn’t always possible. But I’d still love to connect and hear your thoughts.

A Prayer:

May we not be content with saying, “This is who I am,” but desire to continue becoming.

May we be intentional in our practices, rhythms, and routines, considering how they form us.

May we make our rhythms and routines less about rules to follow and more about opportunities to live well now and to grow in our becoming.

As we plant beautiful seeds, may we see you, God, grow beautiful things from our lives

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A Word to Ponder: Reset

In June, our word to ponder was rest, and we took some time to consider the idea of rest in every season. And as I considered what rest might look like for me in this season, it led me to another word: reset.

Reset, in basic terms, is the act of restoring something to the way it once was. Or, to start over in a new direction.

The world moves at such a rapid pace that it is easy to get into a rhythm of doing what we have always done, just trying to keep up. But as we create rhythms of rest in our lives, we also create pauses that allow our souls to breathe and an opportunity to reconsider our rhythms. Asking ourselves what is working and what is not working.

Not every season is for everything.

When’s the last time you’ve allowed yourself a moment to reset? Perhaps you just need to shore up the rhythms you know are working so you can continue strong, or maybe you need to start new rhythms and move in a new direction.

What might it look like to allow yourself an occasional opportunity to reset?

A Book for the Season: The Correspondent by Virginia Evans

Recently, my friend Sarah K. Butterfield wrote on her Substack, The Scoop, about The Spiritual Practice of Reading Fiction.

While I tend to recommend non-fiction books here, I also read a lot of fiction. And I loved Sarah’s reminders that we can also learn from and be influenced by the fictional characters and stories we read. So this month I’m sharing one of my favorite fiction books so far this year, The Correspondent by Virginia Evans.

The Correspondent is a well-written story with a complex main character, Sybil. Sybil’s story unfolds through a series of letters, some sent, some received, and others held close. Sybil is a character whose rhythms and relationships will make you ponder life and perhaps inspire you to take pen to paper. Who knows?

A Quote to Consider:

“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self.
The journey doesn’t end.” — Michelle Obama